Phantasmagoria

They were teaching us, me, the other Adam and some random temporary workers, how to more efficiently get out to our field sites. We would look at these images on magic lantern slides and by recognizing the site, be able to immediately think ourselves there through some remote viewing process, think remote viewing plus telekinetic teletransportation. This technology was being toted over using the GPS to navigate. Basically, the archaeologists had set up a scavenger hunt for us to complete using this new technique, but they were also training people from other departments.

He was in my dream, with his earth father, in McCloud. My creator and his earth father were there for the mountain bike race at Castle Crags. My creator seemed very impressed at my ability to master this new thought process and application of a new earth or Neirian technology instantaneously. I think the other Adam and I were working as a team and we beat L. and P. back who not only had more experience, but a distinct advantage as well in sharing thought processes because of their relationship. I was very pleased that he was pleased with my ability to function, implement, and master outside of his tutelage. Perhaps he even admitted I was more adept at this skill than he. I was also very glad he could come.

“Oh sweetness, are you going to start coming to council now too?”

He laughs.

“But I am so very glad to see you after so long! It’s good to see you again!”

He smiles and says, “Yes it’s good to see you too Nadeanna. Welcome home.”

I was all smiles and golden infusions beaming out.

We got onto a discussion of stair steps, mastery aspects, mirroring, and creation. I wanted to ask him more about the mandala keys, but his father came.

“Looks like I’m off to the bike races.”

He embraces me and whispers, “Be good at work,” in my ear, softly kisses my cheek, and winks at me as he leaves out the back of the district office.

What a sublime dream!

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Really?

My honey says he is coming out here, soon! Wow! hahaha I am such a lucky, lucky lady. Please bless us and our love.

Golden Dreamer

I dreamed about him, the Golden Dreamer.

This… it’s so close to being here, I can almost taste it. I was in this trailer and it was like spinning. I was getting ready to go out somewhere, layering my clothes. I was standing on a corner with someone else, someone with a Milwaukee flavor, like possibly Liz. And he passes by coming from the opposite corner.

“Hey, long time, no see. Where are you going?” and then he’s gone.

Liz like, “Hey, who was that?”

“Oh that’s the Golden Dreamer.”

“Damn girl he’s fine!”

“Don’t I know it! If he wanted to see me, he’s got my digits. It’s so simple to pick up the phone and say come on up. Or Ima be down in Redding this weekend. Let’s kick it.”

Boys!

Bob Dylan

DESTINY is a feeling you have that you know something about yourself nobody else does. The picture you have in your own mind of what you’re about WILL COME TRUE. It’s a kind of a thing you kind of have to keep to your own self, because it’s a fragile feeling, and you put it out there, then someone will kill it. It’s best to keep that all inside.

We two are makers. Just made this mess. Two broken hearts don’t beat any less.

I’ve really been feeling this, this summer. It’s the energy of the past dreams of the future happening now. It’s what Mike said about not disclosing his plans, because other people knowing, would mean they knew if he failed, but…. with singularity, with unity consciousness, wouldn’t them knowing allow them to bless and assist in their manifestation?

It’s so difficult being so alone with each of us having our own row to hoe.

My beautiful star brothers, can you help me draw more of the right ones to me? Could you help me bless the Eureka genesis? Captain, could we quit negating each other already? Say it! Just say it if you mean it! There will always be another way, if you want it. I am not about compromising. I belong here. At this point I can’t imagine anywhere else I want to be. If you are not home, do I want to be with you? But I love you still! Believe it or not. Accept it or not, but…

I think you feel the same,

why is it so hard to say?

That it’s with me you want to spend out your days?

wherever we are, you will always be welcome,

with a freedom you seem shy to conceive.

You, I love, as a lover, a friend, a brother.

Everything, because you are not my other half to make me whole,

you are my sunshine that lets me grow!

And for you all…

Return to Shasta

Quiet notions

Of lost emotions

Love of your everyone

Awash in your elegant eyes

Through all the miles

Will you come to me

When I am home?

There is my song

To sing along

Beside you

Keytones

From shore to shore

And mountain peaks

My love runs deep, so deep

Undone

But my brother lover

Water sister sun

We’ve just begun

Learning

How beautiful the light can shine

In the divine

Co-creation

This manifestation

Energy

Abundantly

Play the strings like fire rosin

Across my throbbing heart.

This telepathy of creativity

Lonely in sunshine

Your poetry touches me

Through the needled pine.

I would love you too

If you would allow me such an honor

Oh I do so

Already to my core.

Reach me to teach me.

Scenes unseen

Visions of my eyes

Fail to capture

This rapture you are

How far?

Further, the distance is here

On the frontier.

Completely New

Whatever it is you think you knew, what you assumed, forget it. It no longer applies.

In any case,  I still wish dinner were ready for me when I came home and that I was about to go curl up and spoon with my honey babe. Will you come to California? I promise I’ve got some gold right here for you. Still addicted to that sweet something something that so few have got.

My Shasta brother in One Love made the power go out at 7:07. Luckily this time I had already made and eaten dinner. Although he claims it was not he, then perhaps I myself am to blame by wishing it the night before.

Body, work with me here. We need sleep. Between now and 5 a.m.

This grave shift feels like a slave ship. Haas can’t keep workin’ like this no mo’.

Even after a day like today, when I felt so unharmonious to be going to work in the morning and felt like unelectrified lead all day, or like the poor cow laying amongst the trees, I still love my job. Don’t get me wrong. I did manage to eat dinner tonight. The watermelon relish was perfect in the summer salad, but I could have eaten more than just the huge bowl I made. I might make another leaf salad and have a spot of cranberry juice before I try in earnest to pass out. I want to sleep all morning. I need a new plan, a new cycle. It’s better to bust booty in the morning when it’s cool, but it’s also better to sleep in the morning when it’s cool. +sigh+ I wish I could be like the golden dreamer and be in the lake all afternoon, but I’d rather be working. Body, come on, please…?

Faster than fast

I never seem to take full advantage of the down times. I am so grateful for the weeks of slow solitude in February and all the sun naps. Now we are in hyper-drive. Serious, serious flooding in my old hood, an enormous sink hole in the middle of the road. I have yet to confirm if the art house is still standing.

I am literally going to be working my ass off until the end of August. I doubt that I will get any time off after I return from Oregon.

Lovely, and untranslatable 7-D energies from my Captain. His birthday is on the full moon. Let him master this surfing.

I, however, wobble. I am hungry, but can’t seem to cook or eat. Exhausted and sleep is elusive. I feel like I have been literally running for the past 5 days straight. What a marathon! I’ll be looking forward to some calm peaceful times toward winter. May providence bring them here. I’d love to lay on my floor watching snow flakes spin down from the mountains with one or both my honeys beside me, just brushing fingertips.

It’s not that I’m not enjoying all this. It’s just like… wow!

Oh, if I could only get this energy out so you could know what it’s like to love you!

That Time That Comes

I now understand perhaps what Jim meant about compromise and being ready to settle down. I would settle to settle down. There can never be another who’s a better energetic match to me than my angel. I mean lucky for him there was a better match than me, but for me, there’s not. I know it, oh deep, deep in my bones.

Hmmm, and my Captain is like a great weight of sorrow about me. You have to be sure and make those decisions accordingly. I am going, going, gone my love. You’ve had so many chances. I’m tired of being all strung out on you stringing me out. I’d rather be with someone whose company I enjoy who is willing to say I am his lady. I am willing to chose a certain peace over breaking passion.

Yet, at this point, it’s all illusion. This afternoon I tell myself the one I loved the most, our intimacies were the shallowest splash to him. Why should they burn me to the core? I let go, but in letting go there is a knowing of it never again being that beautiful way, and how I could want anything else any better than the way that that was…

Cat Food Synchronicity

“Cat country,” Albe said.

“How would you know cat country?” I asked.

“My family had flocks of sheep. I brought them from the island to the mainland to graze in the winter when the islands are scoured by wind and rain. There were cats in rocks among the sheltered valleys where there is grass no matter how bad the weather gets. Cat,” she said. “Small cat, sometimes large cat.”

“Yeah it was hot the last time I was there. Almost 100.”

“Where at?”

“Susanville. But now we’re working around McCloud.”

“McCloud’s beautiful. I haven’t been down there to play lately.”

“At the golf course?”

“Oh no, down by the reservoir.”

“Ah. It’s so pretty there.”

“But since my dog died six years back, I pretty much stick to the lake. Once you get down below that by the river, you’re nothing but cat food.”

A long conversation centering on mountain lions ensued. Having only seen one mountain lion here, I find it difficult to believe I could possibly be stalked, let alone attacked by one, but then I realize he’s right. There aren’t very many animals in these forests, almost no deer, and the ones there are, are scrawny.

I don’t think I want to find out if the mountain lions would leave me alone just because I carry a jaguar totem. I need to find my whistle, because I am not getting a dog or giving up wandering in the forest alone. I was there alone just a month ago. The snakes were much more on my mind.

I’ve completely lost my mind. I really can’t sleep anymore. Eating is treacherous and does not seem to be helping me ground.

Bliss

The DMV was not so bad. I have my California plates now. Guess who passed me by while I was trying to find a place to get my car smogged? Haha! Later I met a random stranger at Safeway in Medford. I framed my latest artwork. I need to take photos and see if the Captain wants it and if not, I am going to attempt to sell it. I am not as pleased with it as I was with my last. It’s intended though to be a christening gift for the unborn Archelon I feel. Haha!

So the Captian mentions Sarah and Abraham the other night and coming to work for us here next season. Haha! Things are always better when I admit to the desire deep, deep within. When I focus on that, flow comes back to me. The Amtrak station is a temporary wish. This telepathic superhighway between my Captain and I, that, is an astoundment and wellspring of pure bliss. I think we danced around where we want this unity consciousness to go.

To Play The Cosmic Style
How Can We Make The Distance
You’ve Always Known by Mind
We’re Letting People Know What
We Now Know Ourselves
Now We Are One Of My Lovers
Hey Now That’s Something Else

Is she listening? Do you think she’s really listening?

Could it be, could it really, really be?

Over and over…

This distance is dreamin’

We’re already there tonight

Because, heart of my own heart, you are as God to me, my Lord and Master, and yet you require no subjection. Your love sets me free to worship you and my own adoration fills your vessel with such light as to cause you hold me in awe and honor. Truly, we can do some things. And when we are as one, you and I, your cup runneth over, and you in turn share that with another ready to accept your gift. I receive still greater bounty through our bound when you create that sacred bond with another. So far beyond swingers or polyamory, it is the externalization and realization of true Christ consciousness. But this sacred bond can only be created between an awakened one free of fear. I would wish that my other loves could come to understand this nature, could cease desire to possess me as fully as you do, for in them still is ego, is selfishness, is fear of lack. Even I in my imperfections, fear that you will find another and leave me by and by, but as long as you will accept my gift, it does me good to give it to you, for you make it so much more.

But well, I’m having issues translating and processing. Last night was something, something else. It was akin to the golden light of my protector I used to fall asleep in, all awash in it. Oh love, I love love! My right arm has been all tingling of late so I need to clean up and try to fix my back.

Someone is cooking something that smells divine!

The Galactic Wave

I will edit this tomorrow, but I’d just like to say thank you because it was so good to talk to my rainbow warrior again. No more rainbow warrior withdrawal. Yay! I just may have to change my phone plan. And universe, if his heart’s desires are in alignment with your divine harmony, can you help him out? Let him share his light. Teach him how to surf the wave, in service, for the greatest good of all. Let us F.L.O.W. so beautifully and angelically as we did last summer. Our blood lies mingled in the hallows of time. Our ancestors were brothers my soul brother.

Friday, 16 JUL 2010, 11:11 P.M. update

Changed phone plan. Tried to study for my written test to get my California license. My application has been forwarded for the job I applied for in Eureka! Talked to my honey today in regards to blowing up co-dependency and finding personal power and being comfortable with myself.

But the original though was something about the 7th wave and the white man’s invasion of the new world. Will the galactic aliens come in the 8th wave? Are we really on a galactic consciousness yet? Or will it only be after the fact that we realize it?

Oh yes, it was the abundance energy today. I hope our debts are forgiven. Fucking money. Monday I shall see if this bullshit can be resolved, but I guess if I get a permanent job, it would be an easier issue than not knowing how long your job is going to last. I am dreading shopping and going to the DMV.

I am hoping all this means I will regain my confidence and mental capacity. Work has been rough the last 4 weeks. It seemed to be getting clearer today. I’m sick of feeling like a retard. Kentucky fucked me, destroyed my confidence. Wow!

Also, sleep and appetite returning would be nice. It’s too hot to eat. I was going to make a strawberry chocolate shake though. And watch a movie and hope I get up early while it’s still cool to clean the house.

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