Pollen Eyes?

A few days this week, in the early to mid afternoon, I’ve literally felt like I was going blind. I couldn’t focus anything. It’s like the visual processing parts of my brain completely crapped out on me for several minutes. I tried to blink more tears into my eyes to see if that would help. Not really. It just refocused on its own after a bit. I was wondering if it might have been me checking out from a disharmonious reality for a bit. Here in western Kentucky it seems more difficult to co-exist in both worlds, and of course I want to stay in the state of the place I left. It’s been making me crazy. Things are getting better with the greening and I am determined to step up my leadership skills at work. I am determined to not let the homesickness interfere with my career decisions.

I am loving the earthy warm feeling like coffee and pecans and cherry wine and oak and hickory and walnut and apple and warm damp earth composting do-si-do to that clear effervescent always-light-my-smile-within rainbow of astonishment. Gentlemen, let us dance, to the western frontier.

However, I feel I ought to hold the western thinking at bay sometimes and see what I can do here. It does no good at work when it is apparent that both the seasonals would rather be in Cali. And yet, I still feel that the most amazing things Kentucky has to offer, can’t compare at all to the Cascades. It’s pretty, yes, but no prettier than Wisconsin. I want to be somewhere where innovation is highly valued, where dreams come true on a daily basis.

This is some of the most wounded land I have ever encountered. I think of breathing life to the stories of the first frontier, but I can’t ever seem to find myself.

Welcome to Western Kentucky. I’m not going to bother with writing anymore until it makes more sense. It’s late. It’s been a week.