Quadruple Rainbow

I had this intense, long dream this morning. Between about 3 a.m. and dawn. It is hard to remember it all, but there was this striking quadruple rainbow. I was trying to get my camera out to take a picture because it was so amazing. I wanted to take a picture because I thought no one would believe me (ego) and just to share the breath-taking awesomeness of it. I was somewhere in the mountains here, maybe at Castle Crags. (This makes sense because all yesterday at work B. was talking about going hiking there today. I was quite glad to stay in and allow my brain to defrag and my muscles to stretch and relax. I didn’t accomplish much beyond a few loads of laundry and half cleaning the kitchen.)

The other insanely beautiful thing in my dream was this cove or lagoon at twilight that was an intensely brilliant emerald green. I felt as though I were near Arcata Bay or somewhere between Arcata and Crescent City. Twilight faded and the stars were amazing! 50x better than anything I’ve seen in real life. Like imagine breaking a glowstick and spilling it into the sky, that was the milky way. I had this thought, “So they really were stars and not spaceships after all.” Fidel arrives to join me then. And remember the star that led the wise men to Christ? There were two stars with like waves of light emitting from them, arms of glowing light like luminous celestial starfish. OMG! But then, the cove was by a city park, and they were having a Halloween carnival at the park, in this brick paved placed called “The Quad.” The energy of other people and the noise from rides was grating on me and the lights washed out the amazing stars.

I tell Fidel there is no point in being there anymore. We both leave and go our separate ways. I am walking back home along the coast and that strange light/twilight at night is going on. Taylor is looking for me, but the tide is rising, so going around this concrete wall, full of barnacles and starfish is not a safe route for him to take. There is something about a grocery store, a big ass one like WinCo or Pick’n’Save. We finally catch up to each other.

We are in a bedroom, but the bed is lofted. In spite of everything, I am glad to see him, and openly affectionate, even though I was at first pissed off that he had found me in Humboldt. (He met me on Humboldt. Hee?!?) The bed is lofted and all the light fixtures are old fashioned looking. I tell him it is bad timing, that I don’t have the time to spend that he really needs or that we need for this to work and I’m still tripping about the rainbow and stars. THE STARS! FUCK! Well, it gets graphic. We are in this lofted bed and I am laying on my stomach and he barely gets the tip of his penis inside of me. I am slick, wet thinking, “Great, I am probably ovulating. This really needs to not happen now.” But it’s been ages since I’ve had sex because Andy still hasn’t made it out here, and I haven’t had an opportunity to go back there. We barely get started and then the lights go out. So I am fiddling with the lights. It’s like this story I wrote before where my psychic abilities control technology but Taylor is trying to tell me the grid is down and come back to bed. He was crying because he missed me. Something inside him was breaking and had we not been interrupted I would have likely reopened wounds and been crying too. While I am fiddling with the lights there is a knock on the door and my phone starts beeping like crazy with text messages. I tell him I’m sorry, but I have to go.

I get home and Cheri seems upset because the owner, who is my upstairs neighbor in this quad-plex is taking furniture out that Cheri had been using for decades that she’d lent to me. The owner’s daughter had just lost her place and so he was like, “Gotta take care of family first.” I’m thinking, “Great, “I don’t have a family to look out for me. What is left of them is thousands of miles away and they don’t care or understand.” I’m like, “Please leave my bed. Please.” I am anxious to get back to a proper love-making session with Taylor. So some of the texts are from Muir. He heard about the rainbow pictures and my pictures of the cove. (Now I remember having futzed with a tripod to take night photos of the stars.) Strangely this is a tactic to get closer to me emotionally because he is interested in me. I am thinking, “What happened to all this Jesus nonsense?” and I was all mixed up because I loved sharing this photography passion with him and was attracted to him, but suddenly here is the man who would have been my husband back home and I find that we still love each other and there might be some kind of a chance. However, there is all this chaos going on with my house. So we briefly meet and then I am home again, relived to find that my bed has been taken but dude bought me a new mattress and box-spring so that I would have a comfortable place to sleep. There is something about three windows in the room and how I will move the remaining furniture so that I can open the best window to let air in when it is warm. But put up the stained glass in window that will allow light to pass through them and not have to move them if I open the windows. I have the blue one Andy painted and gave to the Captain and which I ended up bringing home. I made some new ones since the frog one.

I have a balcony here that runs the length of the house. Both the owner and I have doors that open out onto it.

I don’t know what to make of this all. Stressing about moving, Taylor getting out, the fifth world manifesting, but not quite completely, being on the coast?

Advertisements

North Coast

More and more I believe love is something that just happens. It is in the ether, the formless essence that structures order in nature. You can meet a new person. You can make new friends. You can enjoy someone’s company. You can experience varying degrees of physical attraction to someone, but you cannot will yourself to fall in love. It just happens, and it is magical! Love is like stargazing. You are witness to the vastness of the universe and the opportunities therein. Love is the falling in of the vastness into the grain of sand, or a seed blown on the wind, all factors flowering into new creation and life.

The same can be said for the future, you can plan, hope, wish, dream all you like. You can have vision and mission statements, but the future is what is unfolding right now, and you can only know now, right now.

But right now it is too soon to do what will need to be done. I have good thoughts for this shaking out, very good thoughts.

Right here is the soil he needs to flourish. Eureka genesis.

I wonder, if Jesus were fucking Christ, would He be masturbating?