Oak Savanna

You want to know

How it will be

Me and him

Or you and me

When are we ever ever gonna get to that place where love is free? Abundance will be, if you just believe.

I remember when we started the fen restoration. Now this open oak lands project has already been begun and I was out today doing some legwork to get the next step underway. I’m standing there trying to envision the oak savanna on the landscape, my will willing it forth. As I go through my days flustered, trying not to worry about the bad things, pushing the fear that is constantly shoved your way, these are the moments for which I was destined.

Yesterday butterfly was my teacher: metamorphosis and transformation. Today two butterflies were dancing together.

Big changes are coming ducklings.

It’s written on the wind.

It’s everywhere I go.

Captain, don’t let me forget. Deep down, deep, deep down is the spring of my love for you. Truly, you are my sunshine, my powerhouse factory to photosynthesize love, love, love until it is overflowing and pouring over my banks and I cannot help but enter that state of grace in which it multiplies even more. On the level, for real, we keep losing each other. When separated, remember to return and meet up at base camp. Let’s meet at council tonight for a post lemon chiffon beltaine moon debriefing. The lion’s gate portal is going to be tremendous this year. I’m still homesick. Trying to exist in both worlds simultaneously is wearing on me. Sometimes I think I need to transmute this place permanently as well. What is the key to unlock that one Captain?

Joe told me it snowed at home, so that makes me less homesick. I close my eyes and I see Soda Creek Ridge burned in my mind and the spring waters rushing, rushing. Surely I’m not here just because I missed thunderstorms.

You say, “Be careful what you wish Little One.” Just let me love you. Let me know that you appreciate me loving you. I forget Captain. I think you are finished with this. I won’t give up. I know, but I forget.


Lemon Chiffon Beltain Moon

Thanks to the perception of beauty or the beauty of perception what is white light to everyone else was coming through my filters (the naiad is still hiding inside this protective jelly) as lemon chiffon. And lemon chiffon just sounds delightful. Then there was the AMAZING dip I made on the fly tonight. OMG! I’ve never tasted anything like it! So YUM! I’ll post a recipe later, maybe.

Disturbing barn owls’ morning slumber and currently humming and thrumming with photon upgrades. Rockies, get ready. I’m coming in fall of 2010, exactly, perfectly on schedule. I’ve even got a place to stay in Denver now with a friend of a friend. So work or no work, I’m still ready to get ready to focus of getting nordic track level 1 certification and improving my snowboarding skills. After 5 seasonal job offers, I think I’m pretty much guaranteed employment half the year.

The forest nymph is having to take a back facet in the damaged KY forests where people come before trees, but the pine wireless lets me keep in touch with my new home, so it’s good. There’s more biodiversity here, but green briar and ticks are on my kill list with yellow jackets and Canada geese. These folks aren’t coming to my 5th world. I guess green briar can stay, as long as it stays out of my way. I mean, for all of these things, exist if you must, but stay out of my awareness. Thank god it was too cold for ticks today. I dreamed about this horrid tangle of saplings, so we’re on track. When I do my walk-over surveys I’m sure to have deja vu again. Short needle pine interspersed with machete worthy sapling growth. What fun I have to look forward too!


The Captain sent spies to check up on me. Patrols, he calls them. The dragonfly was breathtakingly beautiful. It’s an affinity we both share. The box turtle however, scared me half to death. I almost stepped on it! I was distracted, starting to get worried about my performance and productivity for the day, then BAM! there’s a box turtle under my next step. I called him on it. Asked if he would stop upsetting the balance just to get me to Colorado with him because after all I didn’t come to Kentucky for him. He replies, I’m just coming home to pack. Yeah, gotca. He tells me he will send a jaguar tomorrow. Friday Jennifer brings a litter of kittens to work. With the Captain I am always unwinding, unfurling. I think to remind him about the mandala.

On the farm, Tranquility Base, everything feels just a little off, just a little not quite there. Oh damn you fear! I shoo a frog off the back porch. We go to Pinon mounds the next day and I see lizards as we climb to the summit of the largest mound.

Today it is a great blue heron taking flight from a creek swollen high with rain water.

The first peace, which is the most important, is that which comes within the souls of people when they realize their relationship, their oneness, with the universe and all its powers, and when they realize that at the center of the universe dwells Wakan-Tanka , and that this center is really everywhere, it is within each of us. This is the real peace, and the others are but reflections of this. The second peace is that which is made between two individuals, and the third is that which is made between two nations. But above all you should understand that there can never be peace between nations until there is known that true peace, which, as I have often said, is within the souls of men.

~Nicolas Black Elk~

And so peace be with you and within you, shining out for all the world to know.

Captain, you have brought me back round to grace. Let us keep our brother wrapped in prayers for healing, prayers for grace that he too may share the love we do. Right there waiting for the knock. The door will be opened. We will be thrilled to welcome you to our hearth and table.

Pests in Perspective

So Liz had bed bugs, or has had bed bugs at their apartment, mainly in the girls’ room. She thinks they came from the Art House. Now I am worried, but unless you are allergic to them, they seem pretty harmless. Cockroaches, mice, fleas, lice, ticks, termites, ants. Ugh! I live in a trailer in the middle of the forest. It is very crowded. I cannot pick all my stuff up off of the floor. There is nowhere to put it. I haven’t finished unpacking yet. I cannot wash all of my clothes in hot water, or I will ruin them. I’ve spent the night at Andy’s and Lisa’s since I’ve been here. Lisa also lives in a trailer in the middle of the forest. Apparently we have roaches at I.V. and I think I found one in my room before I left, which I killed, but, it is disconcerting.

And yet, being transient, I feel there is no way to avoid this. I am working 9 hour days now and there is no time to do anything after work but shower, eat, and try to wind down so that I can get a few hours of sleep before starting it all again. I have the shittiest mattress I’ve ever slept on. I’m saving $3,000 by living here, and not commuting is great too, but there are times when I just want to…. kill things.

And the ticks! Even when there’s not something crawling on me, I get the heebie jeebies thinking that there is. Bed bugs are nicer than ticks or cockroaches or mice, but not okay.

And there are other times, when I just have to admit, I’m a dirty, dirty girl in so very many ways and let it all go with the flow.

I also envision a commercial-free world in which I am unharrassed by commercials and consumerism. No commercials, no money, no pests.

Yes to love. Yes to good food from our good earth. Yes to sparkling water. Yes to temperate climes. Yes to clean pine-kissed air. Yes to creative expressions of light.

Dopeness versus Wackedness

I have recently returned from my extended weekend. The drive was not as profound as some of the drives in West Central Illinois. I am getting bored with my music. The 5 days were full of dopeass happenins. I would list the upsetting things, but they seem small in comparison to the dopeness. I wish some days I could better explain this thing that is happening, the living past dreams, and even when it doesn’t seem like a moment from a past dream, there’s this energetic quality about it all that feels so deliciously perfect. “Perfect” came up this weekend, being there for Fortune’s surprise b-day party, James Amato being there, just the right dress, the right accessories, the right timing, the right weather, the right light… Right on! Right on target.

Projection perfection recollection of this reflection failing rejection this astounding resurrection has ceased to defy detection but requires selection of parsimonious elements to avoid dissection! Cooperate, recuperate, never hesitate to co-create!

having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be

It’s that energetic harmonic of the completeness, all of the desirable elements present, more than you could hope, all of what you dreamed, and sometimes then some. Even when the old dead world attempts to encroach upon this unparalleled sequence, it’s like a ghost story, that you barely believe, and forget absolutely when the light of the sun’s rays touches your eye lids. I can taste it. I can feel it. I surrender myself to become one with it.

How you do please me in your acceptance of my gifts! You make me want to think up more fantastic things to share with you, or is it remembering the past dreams of my current future?


Driving back from South Mil’ today, I saw a swan, a generally out of the ordinary experience. Synchronicity? I’d say so.

8:18? August 18th? Or the street number for Hot Water? Building the nexus, it’s so delicious. I am overcome by grace.

Are you listening? Do you think she’s really listening? Of course! But still I want to be in the presence, be there, but here I am, and it is good. Here, there, and everywhere, full of grace.

According to Jamie Sams and David Carson, who collected Native American tales from elders in the Choctaw, Lakota, Seneca, Aztec, Yaqui, Cheyenne, Cherokee, Iroquois, and Mayan traditions, Swans represented “Grace”.

Swan tells Dragonfly in legend, “I learned to surrender my body to the power of Spirit and was taken to where the future lives. I saw many wonders high on Sacred Mountains and because of my faith and my acceptance I have been changed. I have learned to accept the state of grace.” Swan is the bird who may enter the Dreamtime and bring back knowledge and healing to the tribe. Swan medicine “teaches us to be at one with all planes of consciousness, and to trust in Great Spirit’s protection.”

Life is Beautiful

The early April spring warmth caresses and coaxes blossoms and buds to open. The floral scent is carried on the breeze, languid with future promise. Abundance is a taste on the air. If faith can only endure. The increasing velocity accelerates beyond the increasing sunlight, caught in a whirlwind of growth, an explosion of green, new ways of observation and analysis, I struggle to maintain my being and keep from being swept away in the tornadic winds.

the only thing to do is truly go with the flow.  No more thinking, no more plotting, no more planning, only living in the moment, breath by breath.  It is the only way to walk into our destined miracles. ~Navajo~

Do not be overwhelmed. Be grateful that we are unsticking the stickiness. Wobble wobble.

UPDATE: And lo and behold, there was a tornado warning Saturday (4/24) in Jackson when we went out from the farm to run and chase. haha!


Baby, I’m so in love with you. As I feel everything accelerate around me, time become meaningless, and I witness myself as the master of my destiny, you are at once my ground and my spaceship. You are my mirror and my sounding board. I am profoundly grateful for the forever moments you brought last week. When that taste on the back of your tongue, that tune you can’t quite recall, the intoxication of dogwood blossoms comes forth into being; it’s like the gift of a moonlit moth at your windowpane. I wish you could know how it feels to want to kneel before you, to just bathe in your radiance, to feel thus drawn to your presence and be in peace. If I could share a modicum of this serenity with you, how complete I would be, have been, am in this moment! Amazing!

I love you tonight, song of my heart,

in the dark, moonless sky,

whisper lullabies

through the oak wireless,

keep me close,

bless the both of us

and radiate out to all we love,

we’ll shine like stars,

from above.

By being strong, bright, and warm, every moth in town will be attracted to you.

May I strive to be the flame, not only the moth. Thanks for sharing your light.

Day 3

Of dream manifestation and wicked incredible de j’ai vu.

All I can say is, “Wow!” It’s happenin’! I am so excited to see where it leads, even if I know, in a sense. I am excited to taste it, to experience it, to feel its vibrations.

XRX = Unprescribed burn = wildfire. Fucking hilarious. XRX That’s the word of the day, most definitely.


The proof of the pudding is in the eating.

Weed is like pussy, you never know how good it is until you hit it.

Since ancient times, mushrooms have been perceived as magical. Mycophagist: one that is fungivorous (feeds on fungi, especially mushrooms). Experimental springtime strawberry tulip blossoms. The nation, last spring, in an attempt to focus the spotlight on pollution, staged Earth Day. Plant a crop, Ceres, goddess of grain. Cerealia was celebrated each April to honor the growth of lustrous petals bursting forth allergies till your name appears as the shade of anybody’s mountains. The U. S. Forest Service closed the land. Tranquility Base Saloon: a frontier village, to assure the proper maturation of goat’s milk into cheese. Cherokee National Forest on the North Carolina – Tennessee state line fire suppression activities of natural grasses and wild herbs are shrouded in mystery in Asheville, North Carolina, center of the universe. Pure civilization, our whimsical home in the sky. Appalachians in deep forests are sweet memories radiant with charm. Tantamount harmonious herbaceousness produced in California. Magic Mountain machine i restored and being loose is a virtue to wonder who might have been the first to experiment. Hunter/gather heads to the woods looking for gently bending, fuzzy stems, ferns, and wildflowers or any objects growing low out of the moss. Bourbon itself derived from the ancient Aramaic language. Kentucky’s famed Bourbon Line, an authentic Texas smokehouse, you’d go to California. It presents the most interesting texture on your tongue – you can really feel the spoon flight boost your energy and elicit lip-licking lusciousness, the power to guide the soul to the gods. Now that’s a smile-provoking activity. Mesmerizing. No wonder the world is full of mycophagists. Earth, as we understand Chicago, Illinois arrives magnificently, scenic, suggestive, creamy pleasure. Earthy sweetness, because we like to keep the smiles coming. Not that kind of mushroom. Garlic… the end.

« Older entries