The Rookie

I think it’s time to do something completely chaotic and insane to retrieve the synchronicity in my life, yet, it needs to be something that makes sense from this point of departure, and be something I will not regret.

What could that insane chaos element be? The things that used to work, well, I’ve done those things a lot. Driving randomly to an unknown destination with Spirit guiding me, taking control of the Word through cut-ups, attempting to lose myself in trance, running off into the forest to go camping… This time needs to be completely different.

It’s not quite time yet, but I feel the holding down the home fort and regrouping is about to come to an end.

Today when I ask myself what my heart most desires I get: subverting and vanishing the dark forces trying to control my mind (WTF!?! I AM in control here. BE GONE!), ma honeys – ma sweet boys – brunches and cuddles and snuggles and randomness and growing things and music and sexual innuendos and all, an F-ing mixer already, work, staying in the Cascades. So I am desperately trying to stay out of the negative feedback loops of staying here AND having my honeys now. They are not here. I am not leaving. They are not coming anytime soon.

I feel like I am fighting with powerful beings whom I cherish on the weather (seriously, it’s 58!?! and it’s JUNE 16th!?!) and on my location because I can’t help but think the Captain keeps sabotaging me in order to get me to Colorado. All the trouble I would have avoided if I had only gone there in the first place! But it would have been a different story, a different path with different challenges. If I had to choose? Well, I’d choose to wait and have it all. I left and came to their home and we all see how well that worked. I am being drawn to Colorado, but again, not yet. Not quite yet. However, it is time for new creations. The evaluation period is over. This has possibly be the most disappointing spring ever. I hope to reap some bountiful harvests this summer, but the energy I expected to go POP and be able to surf the wave of, ended up being more like flood waters, stagnating and breeding mosquitoes. Time to shake it up baby. I just need that initial spark to set things in motion, and still I am getting the ‘wait, stay home, reflect, read, be ready’ vibe.

High road, how do I find you?

The present is embodied in Hexagram 26 – Ta Ch’u (The Taming Power of the Great): It will be advantageous to be firm and correct. If he does not seek to enjoy his revenues in his own family, without taking service at court, there will be good fortune. It will be advantageous for him to cross the great stream.
The sixth line, undivided, shows its subject as in command of the firmament of heaven. There will be progress.
The situation is evolving slowly, and Yin (the passive feminine force) is gaining ground.
Yin (New)
Yin (New)
Yin (New)
Yang (New)
Yang (New)
Yang (New)
The future is embodied in Hexagram 11 – T’ai (Peace): We see the lesser gone and greatness come upon us. There will be good fortune, with progress and success.
The things most apparent, those above and in front, are embodied by the upper trigram Ken (Mountain), which is transforming into K’un (Earth). As part of this process, stillness and obstruction are giving way to docility and receptivity.
The things least apparent, those below and behind, are embodied by the lower trigram Chi’en (Heaven), which represents strength and creativity.

Well, to me court means council. Council for me is meeting with the G.A. base at the G.F.L. here, in dream time. The Captain has been coming since I returned home. The great stream speaks to me as the Mississippi which means our first mate needs to come west, but obviously there are some things that need to happen first. The mountain speaks to me as Mt. Shasta and becoming earth I take to mean moving down into the valley to find work and begin farming. Strength and creativity will see us through. In any case, I’m glad to have a positive divination. Things have been very stuck and now the waters begin again to flow.

Still, how the crap am I supposed to find a job? Right, when the time comes, I will know. Faith and patience are not bedfellows I commonly take to.

Remember, every all-star was once a rookie.

Advertisements