Mr. X used the rest of the apple celery salad to make stuffing. I went hiking today and he made a turkey. I am so glad my man can cook.

Okay, so then on Friday, which seems like a month ago, I take off of work Monday to go snowboarding. Some other people are going so I thought if they’d be willing to do wussy runs with me, then I can try out my new set up. I got Burton bindings, now with a 19 inch, slightly setback stance, dialed in at 15+ in front and 6+ in back. (Yes, it will be powder tomorrow). I think the front toe strap is going to help keep my feet from going numb. Okay, so yes yes I want to go and work on skidded turns and all that, but Friday Monday was looking like a blue bird day and now there is a 70% chance of snow with 1-3 inches in Mt. Shasta city and snow levels down to 1,500 feet. Boo! And then…. Mr. X is kicking me out tomorrow so I won’t be a distraction while he tries to finish TFM, for once and for all (I hope!)

I hate driving in snow, and 60 miles is a LONG way to drive in crap. Oh yeah, like 60 miles each way. I’m nuts, but… how awesome is my boyfriend? Making me dinner and telling me to go snowboarding?



One of my friends in Wisconsin got a lay off slip today.

Mr. X might be on furlough in the near future if congress doesn’t approve a budget.

Gas is soon going to be over $4 a gallon here.

T-mobile is trying to extort money out of me for a phone that Asurion received from me in November. T-mobile has been added to my growing boycott list. Pretty soon I’m not going to have any options remaining for telecommunications services.

Even though all of our February bills and some of March’s have been paid, we have almost nothing left for food or gas. I do have two bottles of wine in reserve, and plenty of oranges and apples, so it’s not as bad as at Christmas.

I’m making cream of celery soup and French baguettes. I hope I measured the flour correctly. I’m pretty much in permanent tune-out mode. Counting to six is really hard. I’m going to make celery and apple salad tomorrow.

I have no confidence remaining. I cannot function in everyone else’s reality. My shoulders are permanently slumping. Although I may find joy from time to time, putting on a happy face is not happening. I know all too well what is going down, and it’s not going to be pretty anytime soon, not even if I want it to be. Even if I have inner serenity, there is outer turmoil, and I am still affected by it.

I’m thinking of offering up crash space to Wisconsin expatriated refugees. I feel like all of my friends who aren’t parents or who aren’t caring for parents are going to be emigrating soon. There’s something more comforting in natural disasters over economic collapse. Acts of God feel more honest.

My Fucking Rant

Some of you may know that I grew up in southeastern Wisconsin. State representatives that have been brainwashed by corporate interests are doing their damnedest to remove the collective bargaining rights of public labor unions. I could cite hundreds of examples of why this is unjust, and how I’m sure they will get their way tomorrow at the expense of the people, but I’m fucking sick of it.

I am fucking pissed as hell that I have to spend huge amounts of time and resources fighting brain-washed morons.

I am pissed that I have to go on a fucking forensic foray to ensure I’m not consuming toxic sludge.

Now, I’m seriously considering the reality of chem trails. Remember me complaining all summer of how it was never clear in Dusnmuir and where were all the clouds coming from? Maybe I didn’t blog about it. I also took a soil PH reading at Shasta College Saturday. I have no idea how accurate the PH meter was or what the PH of the soil I was testing was supposed to be, but I got consistent readings of between 6.9 and 7.1. I wasn’t expecting neutral soil. I was expecting 5.5 to 6.5. I also noticed these contrail things crisscrossing the sky on my drive back from Mt. Shasta last Sunday, after which we got about a week’s worth of much welcomed precipitation and a return to a winter weather pattern. I’m pretty sure this was due to a high pressure ridge breaking up and not any cloud seeding, but how could I even begin to link correlations with causation? I’m just saying, clouds all summer long, for this part of North America is not right, I’m fairly certain about that. But really, after all that time studying meteorology, I’m thinking there has to be some better explanation for the soil PH and hazy days.

They used to come by and test our well like every freaking month. I would think if our well water, for which the source was Mt. Shasta had aluminum levels that were 60,000 times above the accepted level, I would have known. Also, I somewhere had test results from drinking water analysis in Dunsmuir from 2009. Seemed fine to me. Of course, I’m no hydrologist. I remember blogging about the threat to drinking water posed by the superfund site at Iron Mountain. There was an article in the San Fransisco paper about it, and then I went off on some rant about how we should be researching bacteria that eat sulfur or something.

Here’s the Skeptic’s dictionary post for chem trails. Of course, this site also attempts to debunk chiropractic care, which I consider to be a contributing factor to greatly reducing the frequency of my migraines, the severity of my once chronic back pain, and have greatly reduced the frequency with which I become ill. In my world, personal experience trumps science, and puts the burden of proof on you, the skeptic. I’ve never known anyone to think chiropractic care was quackery (except health insurance not covering your care) or causing them harm, and for most people, it really seems to relieve chronic back pain quickly. For me, spending the money was way better than finding the time to do two or more hours of yoga a day and way better than any alternatives offered by western medicine. Here’s a better chem trail debunkment. I think it’s a lot more palusible that climate change is responsible for the weird clouds and feathering qualities of contrails. Now I am going to have to go “prove” for myself that chiropratic is legit.

Then I found this. Fuck! I keep sighing deeply. Jeremy told me to go jogging. I have not jogged since I injured my knee in 2003. So like now we have to own greenhouses AND make our own soil to grow food!?! Fuck this motherfucking shit for real!

However, I am 100% convinced that the biggest bang we can get for our buck is sustainable, small-scale, local, organic agriculture. The evidence is overwhelming, and this is where I am going to be focusing my energy and resources. I think it is the most important set of solutions we can currently offer to combat the control of corporations. I hope you will join my efforts. Watch this if you have the time, please.

My wonderful, amazing, and inspiring star brother Zakary has created his own YouTube channel that I encourage you to check out. His decision to do a raw food diet for the month of February has inspired me to start looking for a CSA to join and a juicer to manifest. I’ve been struggling with really bad acne since August and decided to return to a heavily fruit-based diet which includes daily fruit smoothies. I’ve also started actually eating vegetables. I ate a lot of salads on my days off this summer. I used to find that when I was hiking several miles a day, I needed more calorie-dense foods as I was dropping weight quite quickly, but now that I am walking less than 20 miles a week, I am finding that I can eat the volume of vegetables and still meet my caloric needs. Then Zakary started sharing his raw food journey with the world, and I was like, “Those red and green juices look so yummy! I think I can add more fruits and vegetables to my diet, especially if I can get a juicer.” Right, so after Anna had a food processor in Golden Pond, I’d wanted to get one to start making homemade Lara bars for work. That hasn’t happened yet, but we made the first steps toward getting a juicer and joining a CSA today. As always, I find communication with the folk here in Nor’Cal to be frustratingly slow and difficult, but I know it will all work out eventually.

I still believe in science and its misappropriation fucking pisses me off!

It’s not republicans, or conservatives, or Scott Walker, or Sarah Palin, or anyone that we can fault and use as a scapegoat to erase our own guilt. We are collectively responsible for the nearly complete lack of social justice and the fucking environmental mess we are currently in. We have committed genocide. We have dumped fucking toxins onto our soils, into our waters. We are killing people, plants, and animals alike left and right. We ignore all of this. We argue in some fucking retarded two party system in which we blame the democrats or the republicans, or some “other”. NO! WE ARE ALL AT FAULT! It’s time to own up and start coming up with solutions. There is no one solution. There is no one entity responsible. There is no one coming to rescue us. It’s time to have some motherfucking integrity. We need to quit our bickering, and roll-up our motherfucking sleeves and get to work.

Those of us that are successful in improving things in any small way, need to break it down so that those that are sleeping or possessed can see how simple it actually is to do what needs doing. I’m working on that.

My readership is so low, that I don’t consider taking the effort to put together anything comprehensive at this point, and besides, I’m sure much of my other posts would discount the veracity of my arguments to 99.99% of the United States population.

The budget-repair bill also allows for the sale “of state-owned heating/cooling/power plants without bids and without concern for the legally-defined public interest.

I can’t really tell you what happened to this MySpace profile, but I was dumb and didn’t change my email associated with the account, so when my password got changed, I was unable to log back into it. It’s set as a private profile now, but I was able to access it through the account of someone that is a friend of that profile. Here is the Iron Mountain rant from 14 JUN 2009 with a 20 JUN 2009 update for you below:

Toxic mining practices have polluted our riversheds….

So how do I get one of these jobs this winter? And why aren’t they doing habitat/ecosystem restoration? Are there any rivershed volunteer corps like for the KK in MKE or Pike River in K-town? If not, let’s start one! Any help digging up more information and getting the ball rolling would be greatly appreciated.


Iron ions can be used as electron receptors, for one thing, and metallic iron as an electron donor, depending on the respiration scheme of a given bacterium (or other prokaryote). When iron gets ionized, it “goes” into forming iron compounds (e.g., sulfates) that can then dissociate in water, producing sulfuric acid.

The more metals present, the more prokaryote diversity you get and the more complicated the ecosystem becomes, making it progressively harder to figure out which organisms are doing what with the ions, so it can all get “mysterious” pretty quickly if you’re not already familiar with all the bugs involved.

We’ve probably catalogued less than 10% of all prokaryote diversity, and we don’t know anything about the metabolism of a good chunk of that.

A recent article in Science identified one cause of acidity as Archeabacteria. The measured pH is -3.8 (yes negative) or almost 10,000 molar. This raises the interior temperature to 70 °C…
MTBE is biodegradable to CO2 and water under aerobic conditions with the correct bacteria. However, the natural occurrence of these bacteria with the ability to break ether bonds is not high, and it appears that most strains of MTBE-oxidizing bacteria are slow-growing bacteria with low biomass production per unit MTBE oxidized. In the proper type of bioreactor, such as a fluidized bed bioreactor, MTBE can be rapidly and economically removed from water to undetectable levels.


Damn it. You were right mom, I should have gone for that degree in biochemistry! What’s an archaeologist/naturalist/librarian/web designer/teacher/musician/archivist/audio visual technician to do? This is clearly the issue here. The bacterial sludge… How can they not even know what’s in there? So can we get some other bacteria in there to neutralize the process? Can we put the sludge through some of Viktor Schauberger’s inventions? I mean, I’m practically a genius, but bacterial sludge in heavy metals is a bit out of my ken.

Here’s the pro-mining side of the coin.

I tend to think the EPA doesn’t have a clue what they’re doing and that mining, given the information I have, seems like a good idea. However, taking care of the heavy metals that would still remain, and the toxic sludge is paramount. Humans are so stupid! Stop being partisan and let’s use science to make the best, most efficient use of these resources AND clean this shit up so that you all down the mountain can have safe drinking water and restore the habitat. The mining should have never been done in the first place, but what’s done is done. Now let’s use our heads, hearts and imagination to take care of the problem! Ok. But let’s fucking do something! You down? Holla! Mine. Clean up. Restore. Politics and religion? No! Science and economics? Duh!

20 JUN 2009
Umm. So. I wonder if systems theory and emergent phenomena theory can help to solve this problem. Are there any biochemistry professors around I could hook up with? Even any scientists that actually enjoy thinking off the clock?

I really feel like the watershed management water access rights is the direction my mission is headed in. But I feel like a tiny, feeble blinking light in an ocean full of turned-off, tuned-out, fed-up… People are much nicer here. Not as nice as in Missouri, but much kinder than in Milwaukee. But I feel like discussing anything beyond music or economics causes their eyes to glaze over. Don’t you see, this is economics. But we need responsible economics requiring science and mad engineering skills. I surely can’t save our water alone. Common’ people! Think, discuss, stimulate…

Solfeggio For the Moon Melon

Happy music ice crystals!

Quantum Cognition 285 HZ

Liberation from Fear and Guilt 396 HZ

Transmutation/Undoing Situations/Facilitating Change 417 HZ

This is the one our Wisconsin friends need today as they go to witness the fall of Babylon. Here is your power to change fear and lack into love and abundance!

Transformation and Miracles 528 HZ

Integrating Structures/Connecting/Relationships 639 HZ

Consciousness Expansion/Awakening Intuition 741 HZ

Silver Violet Flame 825 HZ

Returning to Spiritual Order 852 HZ

Mastery 936 HZ

Numinous Accord 963 HZ

That’s all for this one. I decided to add a page on my blog so this will be easy to return to. It will contain additional frequencies as I come across them and links for aural healing.

Sonora, Part II

Today we watched this documentary about green architecture. It was some PBS series, e 2 design. The architect, Sergio Palleroni, was a professor at UT (Austin was my second home until I moved to California). Anyhow, they went down to Sonora, MEXICO to build low income housing for some indigenous people there out of local materials. It was a total AH-HA moment. Something about the Sonora signpost/connection and the pastel-painted adobe and the amazing sunlight in the courtyards…. I am homesick for Dunsmuir most definitely, but I think I’m meant to be on a farm in the valley, with an adobe house I helped to build myself, living communally with some down ass folk, and raising goats with orchards and maybe olives and almonds.

Sonora is on the radar, and I hope to get down there this summer. (the California one anyhow)

A juicer is only about $100. I might have to play with numbers some more, but I think I am ordering one.

Microlending presented itself to me after finding yesterday that banks no longer pay interest on savings accounts. 0.05% Really? What the fuck is that? Might as well take part in something mutually beneficial instead.

It snowed today and there is currently a winter storm warning (for 3 inches of snow!?!). Let’s see if the power goes out.

Honda Honda

Apparently I purchased an old, used Toyota Corolla because the Fofo was really sketching out on me. I recall being by the bluffs along Lake Michigan, reminiscent of South Mil, Katy and Amber were there. The cars were parked in some strange spot in some old lady’s driveway to get them off the street, but then there was this copper/burnt orange colored like 1980 Honda Civic and someone said it was for me. It had under 120,000 miles on it. I asked Amber to move it for me, down the hill to the house we were actually staying in, and out of this lady’s driveway. I was moving the fofo and Corolla. Once it was moved I was like, “So does it run?”

A:  “Yeah.”

me: “And it’s all smooth and nice?”

A” “Yeah it seems fine. Try it yourself when you get time.”

So I’m all excited and Mr. X comes and I’m like, “Check out this Honda!” which by now I had morphed into a cross between the CRX and CRV. A 4-wheel drive Civic? Didn’t Subaru or Volvo have something like this back in the day? I think the car must’ve been manual, so that’s why Amber moved it and why I needed Mr. X to take me for a test drive.

Anyhow, weird. Mr. X interprets the dream as my having 3 craptastic alternatives, with one being slightly better and able to replace the most craptastic alternative that is currently running. One which I can barely afford to purchase, which is the “back-up” or becomes the back-up and one which is given to me, which is really not what I need, but is better than what I have.

+scratches head+

Winter has returned to the north valley. It will remain dark for several days. I get to drive to work because it’s raining.

I need to go to the library to copy an article.

I really want to have the day off to bake and nap, but probably I should get in, do what I can do, and go to the library afterward.

Magic Stick

When an obese surgeon general is urging me to quit smoking because it increases my risk of heart attack, immediately after a commercial for General Mills HFCS cereals, wow, do I want a smoke and to chug the rest of this dark ale.

Dear Kathy at the Clinique counter in Redding,

You were super sweet today and I wish everyone could love their job and be as good at it as you. You earn Nadeanna’s gold star for 13 FEB 2011.



Anyhow, I think my skin wants me to drink less, smoke less, and eat less chicken. It’s all about the O 2 baby!

Today is the last day of spring, for now. It was great to have more than a day’s worth this year.

I think Kentucky wounded me. I’m suffering from PTSD caused by LBL.

I’m also being severely traumatized by Mr. X’s TFM. I will probably go postal soon because I don’t see this ending before April. Really, another 8 weeks of this shit? I deeply question my rational for staying, other than being a complete failure whose net worth decreases daily. Thanks interest!

My two major and most-disturbing symptoms? Complete and total inability to conceive of or plan for THE FUTURE. Numero dos: Perceiving reality as dream-like or unreal, finding myself in a perpetual state of disassociation. I think this later one is caused by the permanent state of cognitive dissonance in which I find myself. FUCK!

I at times wonder if the permanent state of trauma is causing my perception of utter cognitive RETARDATION.

Plan A post-TFM was tequila, limes, and a cigar. Now I may think that an 8th of nuggs will do me better. At least it will get me in harmony with the Siskiyou folks who totally do not get the concept of phone nor time.

Since there is no future, I see no problem dropping $250 on Burton bindings to take advantage of the fresh powder which I hope to be blessed with this week. And in pow-pow, I will master linking S-turns and be ready to tackle some more challenging blues… hun hun hun? Yeah! I kin do it!

All right, I finished my second beer and blogged and I still feel stressed out.

Cannot wait until I get a dance studio again! GAWD!

It’s Been A Long Time Coming

But a change is gonna come.

Standing at the gates of dawn!


Blossoms off of Hartnel today.


Rihanna’s Banned Video

and Mastering the duality archetypes

Banned Video Rihanna’s “S&M”


So I woke up, or maybe fell asleep craving a spanking.

Once maybe it was so that I wouldn’t feel so guilty for being a slut, for being a nympho, for enjoying sex. Or once maybe it was so I could have a space to be safe, a place to not be responsible for everything, to not have the weight of the universe crushing down on me.

But that left me so open to manipulation and being manipulated. I admit, topping from the bottom.

But bondage, sensory deprivation, orgasm control, spanking, flogging… still are huge turn ons.

And so what if, what if….

It’s so amazingly awesomely wonderful now that those little demons can’t even hide in the lifestyle anymore?

Ha! Fucking hahaha!

That I can be as open about my kinkiness as your gay neighbors can be about what BRINGS THEM JOY! Because the demons can’t survive if love and joy are the reason you do it.

So baby, if you love me, won’t you give it to me now and then? Hahaha!

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