Things That Make You Go Hmmm

The east China mirage? What’s up with that? Fog? A mirage? The pulling apart of realities? A hoax?

Clocks speeding up in Sicily? Just digital clocks? What about mechanical clocks? Atomic clocks? Electric analog clocks?

Lately, seriously, it’s very difficult, nearly impossible to share reality with any entity outside of myself.

My back aches and I am restless, so very very restless, like an animal when there’s an approaching major low pressure system. Yet I am exhausted beyond comprehension and unable to sleep. When I can sleep, it is restless dream-filled sleep, interrupted by spikes in body temperature or awakening in pain. I cannot concentrate and everything frustrates me, so I am giving up on this post, smoking, and then trying to sleep. The feeling of waiting and waiting and waiting intensifies because there is so little remaining for distraction. I cannot be distracted anymore.

Oh yeah, it’s raining, in Redding, at the end of June. I think today was one of the most eerie weather phenomena I’ve ever experienced. Slate grey skies with rain and rain and more rain in the 9 p.m. twilight, the temperature never rising above 65 degrees all day, in one of the hottest cities in North America in the first week of summer?

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Half Gallon Mason Jars

I picked up 6 half gallon mason jars yesterday. I guess making a half gallon of tea at a time is good. Yay for sun tea! I also used one to make mojito mix in yesterday. Jeremy liked that use of the super growing mint.

My mouth is all numb from the dentist. I am anxiously awaiting sensation to return so that I can eat and drink. One down and five to go.

All Almond Milks are Not Created Equal AKA Why Winco Loses

Why is there evaporated cane juice in my Diamond Almond milk!?!

Why do I have to check the labels on everything I buy?

I don’t have time to make everything from scratch everyday. I can’t make almond milk at home.

Now I have to drink the remainder of the half gallon of sugary slop. I just may dump it out if I get to Trader Joes to get the unsweetened variety. That’s $3 down the drain, but it’s not really good for anything beyond calories. Close your eyes, chug, and try not to realize that it tastes like you’re drinking sugar syrup.

The last 4 times I have gone to the grocery store, and I’ve walked into the produce section, I swear, I’ve been able to smell the pesticides. I was so grossed out at Winco yesterday, I might just give up shopping at all. I felt as though I were walking through isles of skull and crossbones trying to sniff out the 10% that might still be low toxicity, as though I were in some modern nightmare of Upton Sinclair’s creation.

Summer?

Guess that was it for triple digits. Next week highs are forecast in the low 80s. I definitely want to go swimming today while it is still above 90.

I also can’t really eat yet today. The thought of eating anything besides O&H Danish bakery or free range pork sausage is making me nauseous, so we’ll see how the morning goes with just coffee, water, and sunshine. I’ll take an apple with me to work for emergency. Guess my plan is to walk. Then maybe I will walk to the field office and try to rescue Jeremy to come run errands and go swimming. We’ll see. I think I’m getting him a watering can for his birthday.

I think we need to move the tomatoes. They are not getting enough sun.

Next weekend is independence day!?! That’s about the point in summer I start getting sad. Where is the time going? It just stopped being winter two and half weeks ago! There is just no space or time this year.

Another Day

I really do not think I am an effective writer. I’m not sure if I care. I doubt there are very many effective readers out there.

Oh well, here we go, another day in super-sped-up time continuum in which I simply put one foot in front of the other, over, and over, and over and over and over. I get no further and accomplished nothing and am dead tired before sundown. I only worked 6 hours, why should I be so tired? Is it because I made pancakes for breakfast? Made coffee in a French Press? Walked to work in 100+ heat?

I don’t know, but I feel out of balance as far as eating and sleeping go. I want to sleep all morning and stay up all night.

Population Reduction?

Okay. I totally, totally loved being a mom. It was like, the best thing ever, pretty much. You get smiles built into every day, but like, what if every kid had four parents, and eight grandparents, and a dozen aunts and uncles? Would they be totally spoiled?

I don’t think I’m ever going to have children of my own. I’m not even sure I’m physically capable of having children of my own, but I love toddlers and preschoolers, and I loved being a mom.

I think I would be happy being an adopted mom again.

I think I would love to have some bengal cats and treat them like children.

As bad as the methods that “evil” men are using to reduce the world population, I mean, I can’t say it’s a bad thing, not at all.

I’m just wondering how I can be pro-parent and pro-population reduction?

I’m even still at the point where I feel the supposed Viking practice of exposing deformed infants is better than allowing a life of misery to endure.

On the way to work I was thinking about the guy that robbed a bank for a dollar so that he could go to jail to get medical care. What if we had euthenasia facilities for clinically depressed and terminally ill adults? Would that be a bad thing?

But I don’t think people like Bill Gates or John McCain or the Koch brothers are really about population reduction. I think they’re about slave labor, rape, and short, miserable lives for the proletariat.

I envision a world in which all children are wanted, loved, and cherished for the miracles that they are. Hopefully, with one child per couple until we get back down to say a billion Homo sapiens on this planet, but you know, whatever’s clever.

Solar Halo at Noon at Mossbrae Falls

I really feel as though this must have some kind of significance beyond the typical rainbow connotations. The image is actually from yesterday, the 18th.

From Jun 19, 2011

Juneteenth

Is it warm/hot enough to go swimming? Not at Castle Lake, that’s for sure. Maybe at Brandy Creek? Is it going to be super crowded? Will I be able to find parking? Will I get lost?

When is Jeremy coming home? Did he get repositioned? Does he have to do more than a 14 day rotation? Did his cell battery die? Is he okay?

What is going on with my back? Yes sunbathing today is definitely a good idea no matter what.

I need to go shopping. I hate shopping, but living on vegetables is not really a viable option. I ate an entire casserole dish of stuffing between dinner and breakfast because I felt so depleted of complex carbs. I’m not sure how complex the carbs are in whole wheat, but leaves and raspberries were not quite doing it. I can tell I am dropping weight again.

Wash artifacts? Laundry? Cleaning? Or just more napping?

Spidey is still hanging out in the kitchen.

Well, universe, if somehow in my adventures today I could find a glass container in which to make sun tea, I would be pleased as punch. Also if I can muster the energy to go shopping. It’s so taxing on me.

I was going to say something philosophical about Juneteenth, but it’s been done before, and I’m sure much better than I could muster.

Sexy Enough to Dream About

I saw perhaps the most physically attractive female I have ever seen walking to work today, but she wasn’t hot so much as sexy. Maybe it was pheromones or the shoes or the way she walked or the yellow barrettes and the way she adjusted them after she ran across the street. Grown women wearing yellow little girl barrettes is just always hawt.

Crystal Creek

I did make it to the preserve last night. There were lots of ducks and red-winged black birds and some little, tiny water bird that I don’t know, a black-tailed jack rabbit, and lots of dragonflies and bullfrogs. I got in another 4 miles or so.

I woke up after dawn with cramps, went back to bed to dream, woke up again at 8:30ish.

According to Denise Lefay, and I suppose, Carl Calleman, we’re still in night 3. It started last Tuesday. Tuesday night into Wednesday kind of sucked. I almost felt like I was under attack. Yet, Wednesday was not so bad. I stayed home and tried to reign in the chaos by doing laundry and such, but I could only manage to run one errand before succumbing to the hopeless exhaustion.

I discovered Ray Tomes and his harmonic theory yesterday. I absolutely must write more on this soon.

All I want to do is get back to the Trinities.

I feel sort of bad it’s almost 10 and I’m not leaving for work yet. It will be a very hot walk by the time I leave, and if my email is still not operational, I’m not sure it’s worth going in. I was going to call in, but the 3 hours this morning of extra sleep and I’m fine.

I am still so frustrated by the lack of appropriate music for this time.

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