There’s No Name Like Home

I grew up in the Crackhouse (there was no crack in the house, but there was virtually no maintenance done on it in the whole time I lived there, so it was like the actual crackhouses in our neighborhood, or at least what I imagined those crackhouses to be like if someone bothered to do the dishes and take out the trash periodically). I haven’t named all the places I’ve lived, but some just name themselves, like a place has its own vision for itself. There was Art House MKE, the Shasta house, the Faerie Bower, Quadbox Bebop, and the new place is going to be Manzanita House.


Positive qualities:
Embodiment, integration of spiritual Self with the physical world.
Patterns of imbalance:
Estranged from the earthly world; aversion, disgust or revulsion toward the bodily Self and physical world.

The soul is a bridge between body and spirit; its task is a physical one every bit as much as a spiritual one. In some persons there is a particular aversion to the physical world and physical body. This can be the result of a current religious philosophy or spiritual program, or it can stem from deeply unconscious beliefs about the physical world which the soul has acquired in previous incarnations.

This inner illness manifests as a feeling that the body is ugly and corrupted, or that it has little intrinsic worth compared to the spirit. The body is often highly objectified, exploited, or deprived through strict spiritual or ascetic regimens. Such an individual may have especially strong restrictions or rituals relating to food, with tendencies toward bulimia and anorexia.

This harsh view of physical life and physical matter often hardens the body prematurely and can result in many illnesses, despite “perfect” health programs. Manzanita flower essence helps the individual to soften its relationship to the physical world, and re-direct its spiritual forces toward the body. Thus the soul comes to understand the body as a sacred shrine or temple of the spirit.

Manzanita flower essence encourages the soul’s involvement with the physical world, especially the body; and imparts the teaching that matter is dead or inferior only to the degree that it remains un-embraced by the soul’s consciousness.

– from the ‘Flower Essence Repertory‘, by Patricia Kaminsky and Richard Katz. The most comprehensive and user-friendly flower essence book we’ve found. Highly recommended for any practitioner.

Healing Properties: Manzanita brings harmony to body and soul, helping to uplift our attitude concerning body image, assisting people suffering from eating disorders of any kind, and helping those sensitive, spiritually-attuned souls who find the body cumbersome. It is a fine remedy for those who are unhappy with their physical form due to age, weight, or poor self esteem. Manzanita will open the individual to the beauty and essence of their physical body, thus, restoring the gift of incarnation.


Nuvaring in Dry Heat

The lizard person who loved the heat and was like, “Bring it on!” until about 106, is now suffering at 92. What the hell? Maybe I am sick, but this is the first summer in the valley that I’ve been on Nuvaring. In Milwaukee, you expect heat exhaustion, because it’s fucking humid, and you sweat, and sweat and sweat and keep getting hotter and hotter and hotter. I mean, I’m sure the fact that my car gets up to 130 without air conditioning doesn’t help, but really, the last 3 summers I’ve been totally fine until it’s 105. Now I’m nauseous and dizzy when it’s in the upper 80s. I can’t eat without feeling sick. I keep falling asleep after sitting for 15 minutes. Maybe I am having some vitamin deficiency, but seriously, this sucks. I’ve also had tension headaches the last three days, my back aches… ugh!

Mr. X says he feels like he has a cold. B did have a cold when we were working together, but that was like almost 2 weeks ago.

First weekend in June and Mr. X gets called out on a fire this afternoon. The house is supposed to close escrow on the 22nd. Almost nothing is packed. We want to re-paint the interior and redo some of the flooring before moving in. I could be working in Oceanside making over $20/hour but I would have to give up my permanent part-time job here and my chance at landing a second permanent part-time job at the library.

I seriously don’t know how anyone lives in anything but the most slovenly lifestyle anymore. Buying a pound of coffee is enough to cause an anxiety attack. I go around wearing out of style, heavily worn, thread bare, almost rags. Meh…