Nook Color?

So I had to ultimately factory reset the Nook and restart the modem and router simutaneously. Then I had to ass hat around getting the MacBook up and running.

Apparently there is no zoom feature on the Nook. I downloaded a trial of National Geographic, yeah, can’t read so much. It’s like 6 point font. I mean, come on people.

So I’m still thinking of getting an SD card and putting the Android kernel on it.

I like the Kindle app on my phone better than the Nook thus far. A zoom feature will help immensely.

My advice is to get an I-pad, that or I just don’t get tablets. I like lap tops. I need POWER to run multiple software simultaneously. I wish I could have Notebook and EndNote at work. 

I also need to upgrade my OS at some point here. I would like to have everything I need for a cold re-boot should the upgrade from 10.4 to 10.6 fail, but it should work, hypothetically. All that stuff is at my parents’ house, or lost forever in the black swamp that Michelle made of the Art House in the process of abandoning it.

9:23 and I have only eaten half my breakfast, not showered, and agitation level is near 10 on a scale of 1 to 10. I need a day off to get organized and come up with a plan to attack life, or at least clean and do laundry while the sun is shining.

I have decided that I am most definitely suffering post-traumatic stress disorder from spiritual warfare and the experience of an empath living in 21st century America. I would like to look into cognitive behavior therapy for PTSD because what I am experiencing just seems really similar.

Cognitive-Processing Therapy (CPT) was developed by Resick and Schnicke to specifically treat PTSD among people who have experienced a sexual assault. CPT lasts 12 sessions. CPT can be viewed as a combination of cognitive therapy and exposure therapy.

CPT is like cognitive therapy in that it is based in the idea that PTSD symptoms stem from a conflict between pre-trauma beliefs about the self and world (for example, the belief that nothing bad will happen to me) and post-trauma information (for example, the trauma as evidence that the world is not a safe place). These conflicts are called “stuck points” and are addressed through the next component in CPT — writing about the trauma.

Like exposure therapy, in CPT, the patient is asked to write about his traumatic event in detail. The patient is then instructed to read the story aloud repeatedly in and outside of session. The therapist helps the client identify and address stuck points and errors in thinking, sometimes called “cognitive restructuring.” Errors in thinking may include, for example, “I am bad person” or “I did something to deserve this.” The therapist may help the patient address these errors or stuck points by having the client gather evidence for and against those thoughts.

Holy crap do I have a lot of processing to do!

Last night I was thinking that finally I am no longer in a dissociative state or state of perpetual terror, however “shell-shocked” is a very good assessment of my mental state right now. I still get disoriented and panicky being outside of “safe” environments. See, hypothermia and malnutrition aren’t really issues anymore, but the prospect of getting stuck in the Sierras triggered that fear response. I still can’t support myself, and having faith that everything will be okay, that everything is okay right now, is not helpful. I just panic everytime something frustrates me. I jump at people speaking to me. I cower.

The amount I slept over Thanksgiving, being able to sleep without being awoken by pain, somewhere dark and relatively quiet, I was pretty much out at sundown and up at sunrise, just like the dog. It’s freaking winter, and I cannot hang with working from 9-5:30. Absolutely not. No way. Back at the quad box cage, I’m perpetually agitated. I think my neighbors are possessed by dark forces, and those dark forces like to employ sound and light to create a battle zone to terrorize me. I long for peace, emancipation, and sovereignty.

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