Whiner

I know I shouldn’t be a whiner, that it doesn’t really do much good, but we only have 2,000 signatures. Our goal is 9,000, and we only have until September 3rd! I guess I will have to go canvas, and that will kill me. I can’t stand all the apathy and hate. I doubt that very many people in my neighborhood are registered to vote or even give a fuck about food. The amount of people not registered to vote, who do not care to vote is really appalling, but then it’s still in my collective memory of how my great-grandmothers weren’t even afforded that privilege or responsibility. I guess no one wants to be responsible for anything (including me). I am so fucking tired and I have to clean up the mess of my parents’ generation and I’m just a little bitter this morning.

There is no way, no how, that anyone, ever, is going to convince me that money is not evil. Mr. X, and lots of other people say it is only the love of money which is evil. Nope, sorry, money has to go. Bye-to-the-mother-fucking-bye. Peace out, it was a bitch to know you. All of everyone’s problems began with money. It allows for the false accumulation of wealth and is just utterly ridiculous.

I had this really cool dream, from which I was of course awoken, by neighbors, screaming about money enslavement issues. I think I ought to make it a requirement that no low-vibe people can stay in or visit this building. Being woken up in the middle of the night over a $45 down payment… Seriously? Fuck money. Fuck it!

Anyway, I dreamed that I had gotten some schrooms, but like at a store, like from Trader Joes. They were sold just like dried fruit, in the little plastic Ziploc-type bags. I’m in this urban basement with a large flat screen T.V. and people are watching something like the newer live-action Peter Pan, but not that, just like it. One dude says these schrooms are awesome and I will be seeing lights jump off the ceiling, that they are a really visual trip. Somehow Jubal is there and he agrees to be my trip-sitter/guide and take them with me, but he wanders off with some other folks about a half hour into it. I remember looking in a mirror and my pupils are huge, round and black. Looking into the mirror was like a portal or crystal ball. I could see Emily looking back at me. Then I was like, “ugh! Jubal, I might not be hallucinating, but this is a profoundly shamanistic experience. How am I supposed to get back to my car, drive, or be out in public with saucer eyes?” I started exploring this labyrinth of underground urban area, and then the fucking neighbor wakes me up. Well, I have never before schroomed in a dream, and it was pretty fucking rad. I also felt a profound love for my star siblings.

I don’t know how we will ever make it. I am so tired! So tired! So disgusted! When do I get to be a woman and not a warrior? Shouldn’t I care about protecting our open space? Why do only such a small percentage of people care?!? It’s really important!

But I am very, very glad that Mr. X is home and has two days off.

I think I am taking a bath this morning even though I need to wash my hair. I also need to soak and sweat.

We’re having October weather already. I heard geese down by the creek this morning.

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