So much drama/stress to process today. Whoa fuck! So my brake lights are still coming on when I turn on my headlights. I have no clue how I am going to manage to get my car to the mechanic tomorrow. I have a chiropractor appointment at 9:40 and a meeting at 10, and probably a shit ton of work to do after the meeting. Next week I have meetings on Monday and Friday. I’m going to Oregon the 3rd week in August and I don’t know where or how we are camping or what equipment I need for that. I had to take my bike rack off because of the wiring problems with my car, and that is really upsetting me.

Bill found out Taylor had a bench warrant out because of a paperwork problem. They had to arrest Taylor, but he is getting out tomorrow. He is probably suing the state for being arrested when he was compliant for their failure to update his address. Liz found out Bill had assault charges (that were dropped, I think) on his DOD record. I hope this means that she will be able to get custody of the girls. Still no V. A. check. She’s leaving to take the girls to her mom’s tomorrow for vacation. My mom still has Taylor’s stuff I moved from the Art House before I came to California, but neither Taylor nor Liz has a car, so there it has sat. She was going to bring it up to them, but they are moving, so I was like, “Um no sense to move it twice.” I’m trying to remotely coordinate schedules for her to take stuff up for them.

Jeremy is coming back tomorrow for a funeral, but has to turn right back around to go to Likely. If there are no fires, he gets to come back Sunday. Tim wants him in the office and is probably going to do some passive/aggressive non-sense if they still need him out there. I don’t mind him being gone too much because when he is in a mood, it’s really draining on me and convincing him that I worship, adore, and appreciate him seems to work better when he’s been gone and hasn’t had to deal with Tim. Monday I was convinced that he really was relaxed when we were in Chico for the 4th of July. To him it was like ages ago, and in a way, it feels like that, that it was in the distant past, but in another way, I cannot conceive of it being August already. The past year has been one hell of a whirlwind.

I need to do laundry. I really really need to get some new clothes if I am going to be around other people, or leave the house to go anywhere but the forest. I don’t think I can get by with holey, bleached, torn underwear.

I haven’t juiced since Saturday.

I’m doing all right with over 50% raw. I ate like a pound of red noodle beans for dinner, but it took me over an hour to eat.

I got new Urban Decay eyeshadow today. Wow! I am impressed! I can’t wait to try it out. I did swatches and all the colors are very flattering on yellow-toned skin.

I need to clean.

I had two beers tonight because today was crazy.

I just can’t go all the way with this. It takes energy and I want it to come naturally, like not wanting to get the left-over Chinese because it is “heavy”. Beer, cream, coffee, bread, cigarettes…can’t do it yet. I also had more than 2 cigarettes today. I had 4, again, because today was crazy.


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