No Room for Distraction

I seriously cannot be distracted anymore. If I try to do anything to relax/escape/distract, my “ADD” kicks in and I can’t tolerate the activity. I can’t watch a movie or read a novel or listen to music or do yoga or sew or go for a walk or play an instrument or draw. Anything that used to be soothing to the soul. RRRNNNNTTTT! Nope, no can do.

I can only do what I need to be doing in that moment.

It is just like increasingly difficult to trust that this flow is going to provide for me. So far, so good I guess, but my ego wants a house so I can have kitties and a solar food dehydrator. My heart wants social justice. Every little piece of me wants this burden of debt eliminated.

Shootings and bombs and voter suppression and drug overdoes and assaults and FUCKING ARRRRGGHHHH! Sorrow and sorrow and sorrow that I am being forced to wait all this out because I am still dealing with issues myself, knowing myself, and I still feel like I am dragging this freight train of black oozey gooey putrid humanity along with me.

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