I really, really can’t take it anymore. The young mother that lives with her mother in the other upper apartment stays up all night, every night and has gobs of people over. Smoking and smoking dope and chit chatting and running up and down the stairs and singing.

I don’t have anywhere comfortable to sleep, so I have to be completely exhausted to fall asleep no matter what. We can’t afford a decent mattress. 😦 Then you add their antics… sure I could wear earplugs, but that’s not really  a solution. They feel gross. They make your heartbeat sound like 100 decibels, and they fall out so you still get woken up by your partying drug addict neighbors.

I have given more than I have to give too many times. I am exhausted. Things are not getting better. I am on this treadmill of apathy and despair and I just want to rest and recharge. I do not feel like I am climbing a mountain or working toward some achievement. I am stuck in a swamp of despair and each step is agony.

I really do not want to go to work today. I have zero motivation or energy.


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