GAWD!

I want to go back to the mountains! Insurance companies. Poor traffic planning. Gulf oil. Morons. Drug addicts. Retards. Sodium laurel sulfate. Plastic. Still, I am not checking all the labels all the time. Still I am forgetting to bring bags to the grocery. Still I am breaking down and buying bathroom cleaner because nothing works like those scrubbing bubbles. Still I am smoking, even if I’ve switched to additive-free, fair-trade tobacco. Still I am driving, even though I try to drive less.

So I bought a drying rack and clothesline. There’s barely room for two loads outside, but… I’m trying. I washed everything in hot water because I think this washer sucks. Also, Era is really necessary for my field clothes and for anything with blood on it, because nothing else gets out protein stains or mud, which I assume contains, or once contained living organisms and therefore proteins.

I’m sick of feeling like “I ought to be”. FUCK it all. You get me, only me, always me and if you don’t like it, I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house in. I am going to walk my talk and that filter you know that you have, I don’t. It all has to come out, all of it.

GAWD!

But on the good side. I love Redding. Love, love, love, love, love, love 70 degree days in January! OMFG love! I love the beautiful iconic landscape and seeing both Lassen and Mt. Shasta in the same day. Now if only this traffic would go away! Wow, if Redding were more bus, bike, pedestrian friendly…. wow!

Jeremy has a lot on his plate right now, and I’m like, well, I’m trying to do your laundry and order coffee. Feeling pretty useless otherwise. The 80/20 rule is not going to be his friend.

Hate? Hate hate hate hate hate hate money. Hate it! Hate!

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