I got an important dream message about Sonora, CA. ‘:) Why? What’s that supposed to mean?

My blood pressure is in the toilet this morning. I can’t move. I keep blacking out. I simultaneously want to be up and go back to sleep. Winter is rough on me, even winter here.

I think we need a new blender, or rather I need a new blender. I also want new boots and a new mattress. I think $2K should about cover it.

Watched some pretty depressing lecture on the collapse of the middle class last night. Oh it’s not all bad. I laugh, sometimes hysterically, to think that over-buying a house, a divorce, or an illness can land people into the same state as my student loans. I was trying to explain how 4-adult households have become a necessity and that polyamory is a useful stopgap survival measure. When no one can find a full-time job, 4 part-time incomes along with unemployment, child support, disability payments, etc. can allow for an existence slightly above poverty level, wherein at least you can pay your utilities on time.

Cuz, let me say, you think $80K sounds like a lot for a couple, even with two children. Not making it. See above. I really want to replace the blender, mattress, and my boots.

All the dying birds and fish? Gas prices are going up everyday. Limes, in citrus season, were 79 cents at the store yesterday. Many things I refuse to buy at the price offered. Sugar is over a $1 a pound. Surely supply and demand is not in operation in our economy. Fuel prices go up, everything goes up, even when people quit buying. For example, razor blades. They used to be a dollar a piece. Say your home is being foreclosed, you probably quit buying razor blades, so Proctor and Gamble, rather than lowering prices in order to sell more, raises their prices to make more profit selling fewer blades, which makes even “normal” people quit buying them. They raise the prices even more to appease shareholders.

I feel like the counties expect us to work for free, or almost for free. We all have housing expenses, families, student loans…. Even if you believe in the work you’re doing, you can’t really just volunteer.

When Barbara Hand Clow says she doesn’t want to see a total economic collapse, well, I do! Capitalism does not work! We are not dealing with infinite resources. Only love is infinite and you can’t sell love. Socialism is THE ONLY way, if there is a way. By raping the earth and extracting oil, pushing ourselves beyond the capacity of the earth to sustain us was so fucked up. Now I have these expectations of hot showers and comfortable beds.

Whatever you have, your brother should have also. Even if there were some amazing new technologies, and all military spending stopped this second, it’s not enough. Capitalism has to go. Banking has to go. Banking is more to blame for this downfall than oil, and really there hasn’t been over consumption. We are using less than our parents. We’re paying less for food and clothing, but it’s all going to interest on credit cards, auto loans, student loans. It’s all fake money, made up numbers in computers.

I think about the genocide of Native Americans and I draw a parrallel to the government subsidies for corn production and the food that is fed to our children. We need to get the dollars behind real food that is grown sustainably and is nutritious. What’s the use in having a population of dying diabetics? I’m just trying to figure out why this hasn’t all already completely crashed.


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