Awareness

Jeremy is unconsciously transmuting collective fear of catastrophe, but it’s unconscious. He’s getting all depressed and worried about “the future” and feeling everything is pointless because of the Debt Bomb (yay! some imaginary 0s and 1s in some computer).

I feel like I am starting to break into higher/other dimensions. You know I’ve been here toodling along bridging between that place I started existing in and regular old 3D for awhile, couldn’t handle Kentucky/Tennessee because the only place high enough to contain me was the farmhouse and a few widely scattered abandoned homesteads that still had some old growth. I had to come back home!

So I’m thinking last night about how all my life I’d had this itchy feeling, this longing to leave, this desire to put a lot of space between me and Wisconsin; and how when I got to Siskiyou, even though it was completely alien at first, I felt I could be who I AM. We were looking at the map of California last night and Jeremy was like, “Wow, look how big the central valley is! California has everything.” Then I was thinking about the ancient trade route that the fur trappers began using, like the way from here toward Lassen. We still have that, these iconic landmarks, state highways following ancient trails through the passes. But here I am at the top of the central valley. The tippy top, gateway to wild and mountainous forests, surrounded by the iconic landmarkers, just below the confluence of 3 rivers. The mountain snow comes down and there is the life blood of the whole north state.

So anyhow, it’s like I was working with the mandalas for Shasta Lake. Seems like the dams are okay here. Like I was scrubbing the dams to get them transcended.

I’m warring myself with keeping lake levels high and needing sunshine.

Then I was thinking, “Wow. I am doing this thing I don’t really understand, and certainly cannot translate, but it’s so important!” I’m beginning to see California as its own nation, but not in a negative respect. I’m beginning to see myself as a powerful guardian for these watersheds that are the lifeblood of this nation and the waters that grow the food that millions of people eat to fuel their light bodies. 🙂

Anyhow, I just wish he were aware when he called in dark energies. I mean, sometimes you need to have a little sassy time to work through these things, but it’s like he doesn’t know he’s inviting in this thing outside himself and like Sunday night, I could “see” it.

“Jeremy, what are you doing? Why are you arguing with me?” Yeah, yeah so I refused to really play into it.

Getting out the gamma ray gun to zap these fuckers. Not really gonna wait for his unconscious transmutations. But then I’m like, “Why are you watching that shit? You already know about the underground government control programs. Gawd!” Then I’m like, “Do you want to play chess? Do you want to make play dough? Do you want to paint? hun hun do ya?” Like I’m 5. “Baby. Come to bed with me. That’s not even fun.”

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