Analog

Eighty years ago Gene Krupa and Benny Goodman played a concert at Carnegie Hall. I now have a near perfect reproduction of that concert.

He wanted to stop at a furniture consignment to look for a less expensive floor lamp. The movers broke his and one was definitely not going to be enough, as neither of the bedrooms or living room have overhead lights. I know, fucking retarded right? The place was built in 1989. I think that makes it the second newest place I’ve ever lived in. I am used to living in 100 year old houses. Well, as I am wandering around playing every freaking piano in the warehouse, aghast at the price of a wing-backed chair I want, which we do not have room for, on the way out we see this near mint condition 1965 Zenith stereo cabinet. Stereophonic high fidelity…. My prayers have been answered. Of course I should not be spending any money on anything.

Yesterday we went record shopping. I replaced an LP left behind in Tennessee and one left in Wisconsin. My decent collection of 78s is still sitting at the farmhouse. The boy is IGNORING me.

We have the drafting table set up, but there is so much STUFF. Even myself, who came from Kentucky with only what fit in my car, hence the crate of records in Tennessee, I cannot believe the amount of STUFF and the amount of time to pack, clean, unpack, organize…. I have to go back to work Thursday. Then it’s Thanksgiving. My birthday. We are going to Chico in December for his kid’s concert. I suppose I get to meet more family then. We are planning to go to Fort Bragg for my birthday. Then Christmas and New Years… solstice. 2010 was one fucked up year. Imagine the fastest spinning top possible. Yup. Could I get off so I can throw up now?

If this Mayan calendar stuff has any veracity…. I just want to slow down and play records and draw and re-orient. Everything has changed so drastically so quickly. I am grateful for what could possibly turn into a home, the potential to put down roots, but can that really happen?

I also talked to baby daddy yesterday. Void all previous contracts. I just feel so bad for our kid being left with his mother. It gives me nightmares sometimes. Anyone who would use an innocent child as a weapon of manipulation…. it makes me sick! Ok, Taylor. You deal with this mess. Poor Taylor. Even if you get yourself into it, no one deserves the shit she dishes. Except maybe her mother.

Student loans… So filing for bankruptcy for my credit card debt is going to nearly double my income for the year. Then I will owe the IRS a few grand which is not going to do much for my ability to focus next field season. Every year my student loans increase by 5 or 6 grand because I can barely pay HALF the INTEREST on them and this is with making close to $30K a year!!!!! So being as I do not want to get my own place in the mountains next summer, nor can the man afford this place all on his own, I think I am going to try to work on an actual forest next year.

What would be REALLY FANTASTIC is to get a career internship where he works. Come on, we both more than deserve this. Our kids deserve this. Since fucking money seems to be sticking around still, please!?!

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