Learning How to Hold On

This definitely seemed like it was a higher message. The higher message, “You have to learn how to hold on if you want to climb.” B. signed me up for a class called “Learning How to Hold On”. It was for rock climbing. I was really happy that he paid for this class for me and he was really excited that I was happy about it and wanted to do this.

“Oh I’m so glad. I wasn’t sure if you were into that sort of thing, but I needed a partner, so…”

Then we were in a restaurant near some box stores in the northern suburbs of Chicago, like Libertyville.

It all makes me wonder about things on a soul level. It makes me regret leaving Mt. Shasta, not going to Morrison.

My baby was with me today, the soul thing, epic love. I screwed up so, so bad. Makes me want to vomit. Surely if he ever cared for me, I’ve hurt him, but I always figure that was just a dream too, and in any case, long since past. Even if February was like last week to me, it surely hasn’t been that way for everyone else. Just no one else makes me feel that way. And what reason could there be for it? Like this energy that is my true being, the same irrational way B. ends up in a spiritually profound dream. With this message though, I feel like if there were any way for me to make amends…

Also, if you let go, you have no anchor, and then everything unravels.

And then I get to talk to him and know where he is. Universe, I love you!

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