Ride It

After procuring a bed this morning, for which I need to rustle up some more cash for and which I am going to go pick up with Joe later this evening, I have been perusing astrological musings about the upcoming summer. Dear Ones, this is the meltdown we’ve been waiting for our whole lives. I’ve come to realize that it doesn’t matter if I have money or relationships or anything. I could be running barefoot to the desert in a matter of weeks. There is not a lick of certainty or stability in these times. Anything could happen, anything. Although Joe says he is blaming me if anything happens with Mt. Shasta as I somehow was in Arcata during the earthquake and in Nashville in the monsoon-type rains which later resulted in the worst flooding the city has ever seen. I am the harbinger of disaster.

I did say, it was all about to go pop at the equinox. No matter how many things you have overcome, I just wonder if I will be strong enough and brave enough to ride this alone. I was right love, when I said the winter solstice in 2008 was our last chance for light-hearted celebration, the last chance for that old, ignorant blissful peace.

Chicago survives. Sacramento survives. The distant future dreams portend something nearly incomprehensible. I have about 5 and half hours left before I need to be back here. I am debating taking a nap or going to Dunsmuir and unloading my trunk.

Probably I will stay here tonight. I’m not wanting to leave the nest any sooner than necessary. I think Joe gets very lonely without Christina and probably missed me, probably felt abandoned when I went to Kentucky. I’m pretty good at that whole abandonment thing. I’m just so glad to have such amazing people in my life and I am so glad to be back in a place where I feel safe, where I don’t feel like I have to fight to get work done.

I have been cold and exhausted all day. I have lost all my excess water weight immediately upon return to paradise. I just can’t think about the FACT that I don’t have a ‘job’ right now. Is anyone going to have a ‘job’ in 6 months? I really have to wonder.

I had forgot about the maps. I mean, I am glad to have this time off because how could I forget about the maps!?! And the emerald covenant…. Getting into my head, out of my head, wondering if it’s not time to get into some dirt.

Raspberry cream muffins at the break of dawn overlooking Soda Creek Ridge baby. hahahaha! Get out the map.

And thimble berries…. even better!

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