Meh!

I want a home base! NOW! This hither thither and yon is making me scrunch up my face in the most unattractive grimaces. I need a stable base to operate from, or I am never going to be able to get any deadworld stuff taken care of. I am so, so close to saying fuckitall and running off to hide in the forest. I can’t take it no more. Money, address changes, bullcrap upon bullcrap. I’ve been pretty distracted from any actually important work since I’ve gotten here. If I was merely checking direction, I think I got lost.

I hope I will come to understand the purpose of this when I get home, if I get home. Right now the future is all a fog until we get to the aspen ringed meadow this fall, next fall, who could say?

Next week is an utter fucking mystery to me. I don’t even feel like I know what I want to happen because obviously what I really wanted to happen keeps not happening, and I have definitely set myself back a year or two to getting there. Maybe that means I’ll have cell and internet service there if I ever do make it.

But other than my dear, dear boys, learning ArcGIS, and going back to Milwaukee it’s been pointless and totally annoying. And now, rather than only needing another year as a 7, I’ll need two and I’ll be less likely of getting one.

I got here and it was like SHOCK, and I think I put a whole shit ton of people off by telling the big picture like it is. Why are you working here? Are you really dedicated to protecting and managing our forest resources to the best of your knowledge and ability? What’s the deal with communication? Don’t you know what needs to be done? How have you lost your passion? Unbridled Spirit my hind-end! Western Kentucky is one of the most utterly devoid of passion, clogged-up, stuck in broken patterns places I’ve ever had the misfortune of experiencing. It makes Milwaukee look radiant, progressive, and hip.

Case in point: dude throws trash out front door. Dude leads a workshop for children on “Leave No Trace”. No one sees any problem with this. WTF!?!

It’s really hard for me to signal out here. I get the turtles and whatnots from my Captain, but I feel like I’m trapped in this void box. Incoming, but no outgoing.

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