I was having some thoughts about leadership today, like how great it would’ve been to have my power acknowledged when I was younger. Then I decided it was all bullshit. This Art House thing and baby mama drama is bullshit. Teagan is a very powerful soul, and he must’ve only needed a mother for two years. I know that he’s already onto her games. But it still hurts me, because I know he misses me and he’s my son and I miss him, but I am not going to let that whore manipulate me into buying that house for her. No money bullshit. No legal bullshit. I am not participating in that system!

It’s time to take my tipi into the Rockies, homeless in Humblodt, couch surf the cascades, light-adorned trailers in western Kentucky, but I’m not buying into her shit, the old shit, the bull shit.

Family isn’t about blood. It’s about heart. It’s about soul. I’ve made new family, but I want my baby boy away from her, away from her mother. I wish that I had the resources to take him now, but I don’t. I wish that I had the resources and that she would let me take him. Since she weened him, she’s worked hard to make sure he wasn’t her responsibility, just her cross to bear so people would pity her and so she could have an excuse to fail.  I suppose that if she fails again karma will do it’s old job in the old deadworld. If some entities ceased to BE the universe would be such a freer, easier, more beautiful place. Sometimes all the light is gone. Sometimes every seed is destroyed by overwhelming darkness.

Well, the in-between time has been shitty. I never wanted to get further than Clovis, but passion pushed me back here, where you have yet to leap into nothinginess and shine, shine, shine. Where accountability lags and fear hangs on. Western Kentucky? Western Tennessee? Are you ready? Let’s do this thing then! Good-bye Deadworld, again! My sweet son, when you make it home, you will find me. God’s grace keep you safe until we meet again.

I think that’s where I was going with the leadership thing. Accountability. In Cali, if someone doesn’t do something, no one sweats it. If they really want it done, they eventually do it themselves and there’s no begrudging or hating or calling people out. It’s harmonious and flowin’. Exactly perfect, and I’m gonna make it happen here.



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