New Moon

See yourself standing very erect with your feet grounded in Earth. You are holding Venus/Jupiter in 3-6 Pisces in your right hand, and Pluto in 5 Capricorn in your left hand. Pluto in Capricorn is pushing us all to completely transform the structures in our world, while Venus/Jupiter conjunct in Pisces inspire us to melt into total spiritual immersion. You are holding a force in your hands that has been overturning the major world religions by opening spiritual reconnection with Earth, the central goddess. ~Barbara Hand Clow~

I’m not very big into astrology. It’s sort of like, “Hmmm. I wonder. What’s going on in the heavens? Does this help me to tell a story about my current situation? Does it contribute to the mythos?” I however, found this to be beautiful and moving. Exciting.

I also got a job interview tomorrow. If I get the job it means I will be headed back east very, very soon.

I am loving the randomness, chaos, and adventure of the moment.

Dream lots of dreams and then feed Fidel to the alligators for interrupting your thought processes. Fuck it all and go make salmon melts for lunch. Who ever said fish doesn’t go with cheese?

So this Yoga journal is crap. It’s full of these advertisements to help you feel smug in doing your liberal hippie douchebag part. If you just buy green, it will be okay. The ends justify the means.

I am telling you. I have discovered the key to true happiness. It is finding love outside and within. It is about creativity and craziness. It is about authenticity and integrity, but I cannot begin to teach you. It’s a journey that you must be courageous enough to take on your own. Why is it that I am not a freelance writer for some pulpy bullshit fluff like that? I can’t clean up my “mouth”. I can’t organize my thoughts?

Yet, there is a spark there. There is a knowledge that this is entertaining in the world outside myself, which makes me feel like my mouth is full of melted and gooey strawberry marshmallow goodness.

One finds happiness through sensuality, through attachment. You must be present in each moment to experience the full pleasure of strawberry marshmallows when they cross your path. I mean, who would prioritize seeking out strawberry marhmallows? They’re no good for you with all that high fructose corn syrup and food additives, but does that mean you can’t love them, love eating them, enjoy eating them?

But I have wanted ice cream for days. I think really I’d like a chocolate malt or a hot fudge sundae with all the fixings. I have no idea where one gets a hot fudge sundae anymore and the closest place I know to get a real malt is in like Bella Vista. Whoa, I am salivating. I wonder if one of the grocery stores has malted milk powder. If it were not raining, I would go find out. Of course, if it were not raining, I’d be skiing or going to the library or the post office.

One possible path opening up leads to such liberation and activation. Happiness is about getting unstuck.

I have realized though, that I am going to miss living in heaven. Months straight of 90 degree, sunshine, 20% humidity days free of mosquitoes is hard to give up for weeks of 90 degree days with 95% humidity and breathing mosquitoes, but I’ll be closer to the ecstatically happy geography of the Missouri side of the Mississippi and back in the land of thunderstorms.

Wow! I just love adventure, but I think I am a mountain girl deep down inside.

It could still mean that I get to live in Summit County next winter and get certified as a level one Nordic instructor. If I do get the job, and I end up going to Colorado instead of coming back here for fall, then I most definitely should take snowboarding lessons before I go. I will also need to get an equipment rack installed for my skis and bike and get my timing belts and spark plugs replaced before I leave. I am going to need a stop somewhere about 14 hours east of Flagstaff for my second overnight. This is crazy. I love it!

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