The Shadow of One

Of course this type of partnership also has a massive shadow. Many people who gravitate towards this kind of connecting are actually coming from a very wounded place where commitment, stability and security scare them. For those of us who are afraid of form and prefer formlessness, this kind of partnership allows us to “think” we are engaging in evolved relationship- allowing others to be free (which is a covert means to ensure our own freedom)- but we are actually acting from a place of fear and pain. for some of us it seems better/safer to never get too deep into connection because that is where the vulnerability is, and that will bring up our own shadow. It is better to be light and free- connect with everyone, feel the Love! Or alternatively, avoid relationship completely and just be solo, independent and self-possessed. Either way the point is to never connect too deeply- to never get ‘attached’. Attachment for people who are into this kind of partnership is a scary thing, and so a judgment has been built around it- a belief that attachment is lower vibration/unevolved/unhealthy, or that relationship takes away their independence. This paradigm of partnership is very self-focused and at its worst it is incredibly selfish. It is about my needs, my desires- and my lack of interest in making space for another in my life. It is a covert way of escaping shadow work as well. It is in deep connection that the worst of us comes up and out, but also the best! ‘love brings up everything unlike itself.’ For those who are afraid of what they might see within- escaping connection and the attachment that comes with it is a means to keep the dragons at bay. A lot of people will even go so far as to sabotage connections so that they never get to a place where they can get deeper. It’s interesting what the human psyche will do when confronted with the ability to transform!

~From Divine Harmony~

Hey luv, this is precisely what I was getting at last night, why I don’t like the people here, why I intuited that I finally pissed Zakary off, why your friends are leaving Eureka, why Fidel wants to leave Arcata. I suppose, it feels better than the shadow of two, co-dependence, but it is still a shadow. When we avoid working in the shadow, the deep earth, luv that is when we are left facing nothing but shadow. There must be an integration of the forces, the polarities, the opposites. This is the blade dance. As grateful as I may be for your sunshine, there are days when I think you hold too much to the light. Too pure, you cling to the lion and unicorn, as if defender of the weak in some holy battle, but luv, the war is over. You are the peace, and peace comes in balance. Breathe.

More From Divine Harmony

This new paradigm of partnership asks that we take the courageous leap of commitment and service to the sacred Other, while also embracing independence, individuality and freedom in our connection. This is not about ownership but it is also not about formlessness. It is a creative kind of love that is in constant movement, constant flow. It is free in the sense that constraints are not put on it, but it is contained in the sense that there is commitment by both parties to do the sacred dance of Love in both the light and the dark aspects. This kind of partnership requires radical honestly, radical integrity, and radical respect of the Other. This kind of partnership is organic, it has no guarantees, and it requires risk. It is much like jumping into an abyss. You have no idea what you are getting yourself into, but you just know in your heart of hearts that there is something in that abyss for you. This kind of partnership doesn’t live in form and it doesn’t live in formlessness. It lives in liminal space- that in-between place between fusion and separateness, between self and other. Ultimately what this kind of partnership does is confront you with yourself. It provides a container in which all your stuff gets brought up and set on the table and you have to just sit with it. You can’t grab at it (form) and you can’t run from it (formless). You have to look at it, assess it, become conscious of it, work with it. Whatever comes up for you is your work. And moving beyond attachment AND non-attachment to a place of being able to just be with it is the goal.

This is why I feel so hard, so deep, and so inexplicably for my replacement muse, and luv, although you do not yet have quite that level of power and mastery with me, as our souls have not danced together for lifetimes, you do get me to see things in completely novel ways. I know in my heart-of-hearts that there is great treasure waiting for me in the abyss of your mystery because your song is playing in my heart, written in my heart. Mmmm, why I love you, desire of my heart, this is why. How far down the rabbit hole do you want to go? Whenever I think I’m there, you take me further. Are you with me?


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